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| Humor & Laughter Village: 幽默笑話村: 091 |
| Some jokes to brighten your day... received from Peyyen Hong |
Some jokes to brighten your day...
Teacher: History is a very interesting subject.
It tells you about what had happened in the
past.
Student: Please teacher, I don't think I want to
study History.
Teacher: Why?
Student: There is no future in it.
.................................................................
Teacher: Ted, if your father has $10 and you ask him
for $6,
how much would your father still have?
Ted: $10.
Teacher: You don't know maths?
Ted: You don't know my father!
........................................... ..........................
Mother: David, come here.
David: Yes, mum?
Mother: You really disappoint me. Your results are
getting worse.
David: But I will only get my report book tomorrow.
Mother: I know that. But I am going to Hong Kong
tomorrow,
so I am scolding you now.
......................................................................
Father: Why did you fail your Mathematics test?
Son: On Monday, teacher said 3+5=8
Father: So?
Son: On Tuesday, she said 4+4=8
And on Wednesday, she said 6+2=8.
If she can't make up her mind,
how do I know the right answer?
.....................................................................
A mother and son were doing dishes while the
father and daughter were
Watching TV in the living room.
Suddenly, there was a loud crash of breaking plates,
Then complete silence.
The daughter turned to look at her father.
Daughter: It's mummy!
Father: How do you know?
Daughter: She didn't say anything.
......................................................................
Girl: Do you love me?
Boy: Yes Dear
Girl: Would you die for me?
Boy: No, mine is undying love
--------------------------------------------------
Teacher: History is a very interesting subject.
It tells you about what had happened in the
past.
Student: Please teacher, I don't think I want to
study History.
Teacher: Why?
Student: There is no future in it.
.................................................................
Teacher: Ted, if your father has $10 and you ask him
for $6,
how much would your father still have?
Ted: $10.
Teacher: You don't know maths?
Ted: You don't know my father!
........................................... ..........................
Mother: David, come here.
David: Yes, mum?
Mother: You really disappoint me. Your results are
getting worse.
David: But I will only get my report book tomorrow.
Mother: I know that. But I am going to Hong Kong
tomorrow,
so I am scolding you now.
......................................................................
Father: Why did you fail your Mathematics test?
Son: On Monday, teacher said 3+5=8
Father: So?
Son: On Tuesday, she said 4+4=8
And on Wednesday, she said 6+2=8.
If she can't make up her mind,
how do I know the right answer?
.....................................................................
A mother and son were doing dishes while the
father and daughter were
Watching TV in the living room.
Suddenly, there was a loud crash of breaking plates,
Then complete silence.
The daughter turned to look at her father.
Daughter: It's mummy!
Father: How do you know?
Daughter: She didn't say anything.
......................................................................
Girl: Do you love me?
Boy: Yes Dear
Girl: Would you die for me?
Boy: No, mine is undying love
--------------------------------------------------
Man: How old is your father?
Boy: As old as me
Man: How can that be?
Boy: He became a father only when I was born.
--------------------------------------------------
Waiter: I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's
leg.
Customer: Don't tell me your problems.
Give me the menu card.
------------------------------------------
Teacher: Simon, your composition on "My Dog"
is exactly the same as your brother's.
Did u copy his?
Simon: No, teacher, it's the same dog!
--------------------------------------------------
Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to
teach you anything!
Son: That's why I say she's no good!
--------------------------------------------------
Teacher: "Where were u born?"
Student: "Malaysia, Sir."
Teacher: "Which part?"
Student: "All of me, Sir."
----------------------------------------------------
A teacher was asking her class:
"What is the difference between 'unlawful' and
'illegal'?"
Only one hand shot up.
"Ok, answer, Joan" said the teacher.
"'Unlawful' is when u do something the law doesn't
allow and
'ill-egal' is a sick eagle."
---------------------------------------------------
Teacher: "How come you do not comb your hair?"
Ah Kow: "No comb, Sir."
Teacher: "Use your dad's then."
Ah Kow: "No hair, Sir."
----------------------------------------------------
A boy came home from school with his exam results.
"What did u get?" asked his father.
"My marks are under water," said the boy.
"What do u mean 'under water'?"
"They are all below 'C' level"
