Norwegian Humor
Ole and Lena were out walking and Lena clutched
her heart and fell to the sidewalk. Ole got out his
cell phone and called 9-1-1.
The Operator said "Where are you?"
Ole answered, "We were walking and Lena is on
the sidewalk on Eucalyptus Street."
The operator asked, "How do you spell that?" The
phone seemed to go
dead. The operator kept shouting for Ole. She
could hear him panting.
He finally came back on line and said, "I dragged
her over to Oak
Street, that's O-A-K."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~
Two Norwegian hunters from Minnesota got a pilot
to fly them to
Canada to hunt moose. They bagged six. As they
started loading the
plane for the return trip, the pilot said the plane
could take only four moose.
The two lads objected strongly, "Last year we shot
six and the pilot let us put them all on board and he
had the same plane as yours."
Reluctantly, the pilot gave in and all six were
loaded. However, even on full power, the little
plane couldn't handle the load and went down a
few moments after takeoff.
Climbing out of the wreck one Norski asked the
other, "Any idea where we are?"
"Yaaah, I tink we's pretty close to where we
crashed last year."
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Lena called the airlines information desk and
inquired, "How long does it take to fly from
Minneapolis to Fargo?"
"Yust a minute," said the busy clerk.
"Vell," said Lena, "if it has to go dat fast, I tink I'll
yust take da bus."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~
The judge had just awarded a divorce to Lena ,
who had charged nonsupport. He said to Ole, "I
have decided to give your wife $400 a month for
support."
"Vell, dat's fine, Judge," smiled Ole. "And vunce in
a vhile I'll try to chip in a few bucks, myself."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~
Lars, the bartender, asked Ole, "Do ya know da
difference between a
Norwegian and a canoe?"
"No, I don't," answered Ole.
"A canoe will sometimes tip," explained Lars.
Ole and Lena were out walking and Lena clutched
her heart and fell to the sidewalk. Ole got out his
cell phone and called 9-1-1.
The Operator said "Where are you?"
Ole answered, "We were walking and Lena is on
the sidewalk on Eucalyptus Street."
The operator asked, "How do you spell that?" The
phone seemed to go
dead. The operator kept shouting for Ole. She
could hear him panting.
He finally came back on line and said, "I dragged
her over to Oak
Street, that's O-A-K."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~
Two Norwegian hunters from Minnesota got a pilot
to fly them to
Canada to hunt moose. They bagged six. As they
started loading the
plane for the return trip, the pilot said the plane
could take only four moose.
The two lads objected strongly, "Last year we shot
six and the pilot let us put them all on board and he
had the same plane as yours."
Reluctantly, the pilot gave in and all six were
loaded. However, even on full power, the little
plane couldn't handle the load and went down a
few moments after takeoff.
Climbing out of the wreck one Norski asked the
other, "Any idea where we are?"
"Yaaah, I tink we's pretty close to where we
crashed last year."
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Lena called the airlines information desk and
inquired, "How long does it take to fly from
Minneapolis to Fargo?"
"Yust a minute," said the busy clerk.
"Vell," said Lena, "if it has to go dat fast, I tink I'll
yust take da bus."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~
The judge had just awarded a divorce to Lena ,
who had charged nonsupport. He said to Ole, "I
have decided to give your wife $400 a month for
support."
"Vell, dat's fine, Judge," smiled Ole. "And vunce in
a vhile I'll try to chip in a few bucks, myself."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~
Lars, the bartender, asked Ole, "Do ya know da
difference between a
Norwegian and a canoe?"
"No, I don't," answered Ole.
"A canoe will sometimes tip," explained Lars.
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| Humor & Laughter Village: 幽默笑話村: 081 |
| Norwegian Humor received from Ellen HY Chang |
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~
Ole is so cheap that after his airplane landed
safely he grumbled,
"Vell, deere gose five dollars down da drain for dat
flight insurance!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~
Lars: "Ole, stant in front of my car and tell me if da
turn signals are working."
Ole: "Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes, No. . ."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~
Ole and Lena got married. On their honeymoon trip
they were nearing
Minneapolis when Ole put his hand on Lena's
knee. Giggling, Lena said,
"Ole, you can go a little farther now if ya vant to."
So Ole drove to Duluth.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~
Ole died. So Lena went to the local paper to put a
notice in the obituaries. The gentleman at the
counter, after offering his condolences, asked
Lena what she would like to say about Ole. Lena
replied, "You yust put 'Ole died.'"
The gentleman, somewhat perplexed, asked,
"That's it? Just 'Ole died.'?
Surely, there must be something more you'd like to
say about Ole. If
it's money you're concerned about, the first five
words are free. We
must say something more."
So Lena pondered for a few minutes and finally
said, "O.K. You put,
Ole died. Boat for sale.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~
Ole and Lars were on their very first train ride.
They had brought along
bananas for lunch. Just as they began to peel
them, the train entered a
long, dark tunnel. "Have you eaten your banana
yet?" Ole asked excitedly.
"No," replied Lars.
"Vell, don't touch it den," Ole exclaimed, "I yust
took vun bite and vent blind!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~
Ole bought Lena a piano for her birthday. A few
weeks later, Lars inquired how she was doing with
it.
"Oh," said Ole, "I persuaded her to svitch to a
clarinet."
"How come?" asked Lars.
"Vell," Ole answered, "because vith a clarinet she
can't sing."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~
Ole and Lena went to the Olympics. While sitting
on a bench a lady turned to Ole and asked, "Are
you a pole vaulter?"
Ole replied, "No, I'm Norvegian and my name ain't
Valter."
