1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant,  have a little beverage, good food and
companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.

2. We also sleep in separate beds.
Hers is in California and mine is in Texas.

3. I take my wife everywhere ...
but she keeps finding her way back.

4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our     
anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!"   She said.
So I suggested the kitchen.

5. We always hold hands.
If I let go, she shops.

6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker.
She said "There are too many gadgets and no place
to sit down!"  So, I bought her an electric chair.

7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the
carburetor.
I asked where the car was;  she told me "In the lake."

8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days.
Then the mud fell off.

9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling "Am I too late for the garbage?"  The driver
said "No, jump in!"

10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

11. I married Miss Right.  I just didn't know her
first name was Always.

12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.
I don't like to interrupt her.

13. The last fight was my fault though.
My wife asked "What's on the TV?"
I said "Dust!"

Can't you just hear Red saying all of these?
I love it.  This is true of the good old days
when humor didn't have to start with a four letter word...  just clean and simple fun.
Humor & Laughter Village: 幽默笑話村: 025
RED SKELTON'S RECIPES FOR MARRAIGE: received from C Alan Kang
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